when i grow up i want to be..

Disclaimer: this blog is a thought process. From beginning to end, I am writing and working things through. Agree or disagree, these are just my rambling thoughts.

As of recently I've been feeling the pressure of that sentence, and have been disparately wanting to finish it. A friend reminded me a little while ago that applications for universities will be due in February, if I plan to attend in 2008. I'm not sure if this is just for the programs in September or if that application includes the winter term too, but regardless of that, the clock keeps ticking and brings me that much closer to my homecoming.
I'd like to return to school when I get back to Canada but first I am needing to decide what I'm truly interested in. How do people do this I wonder? For those of you who are striving toward a particular vocation, how did you get started? Did you always want to do a particular line of work? or did a friend suggest it to you? Did you study for years with this one goal? or did you stumble upon it out of the blue? How does one choose?
Maybe it's been the influence of TV and movies that has romanticized my idea of what working life will be like. Of course my optimistic mind would filter out the shows that depict a rotten job life, leaving me with a rosy outlook that demands that I 'make a difference in the world'. The influence of the media along with cheery elementary school teachers who ingrain on us the words "you can do anything you put your mind to" have left me with a pristine picture of what life should be, and could be like (as long as I put my mind to it). And who wouldn't want to make a difference in the world if given the opportunity? The problem is that it is very easy to type away at my keyboard talking about it, and much more challenging to actually go out and find that job that satisfies your goals.
Of course, all these options would not even have existed a generation ago. Every new age seems to bring different problems along with (hopefully) different solutions. I am fortunate to have grown up in a middle to upper class family, without experiencing the true meaning of poverty, or even 'struggle' for that matter. But have these circumstances helped or hindered my quest? I wonder if living without wondering where our next meal is coming from has given me a tainted view on what it is to 'have a job'. There are some who work because they need to survive. Working = food and shelter, and food = one more day. Where as people in that situation are forced to work ANY job out of necessity, here I am debating over which job I would like and which job I would not like.
In writing this, I am finding more and more that I am among the fortunate people who have the option to choose a particular type education, or job while rejecting another type. My original comment about what I am going to be when I grow up seems almost selfish in light of my families social status. Yet, the choice of how one should choose to live lies before us all, rich or poor. I guess it would be pretty selfish to blog a whiny tale about how I have so many opportunities and can't quite choose one (that's not what the blog was supposed to be about). Perhaps it would be more appropriate for the discussion to be about the topic of how to live, instead of how to get a job that you like. This general inquiry would then include the choice of vocation along with many other choices that we all seem to face. Of course, our lives are always shaped by our own particular circumstance, but I'm sure that there is an overarching theme to each choice we make. Could it be the theme of 'what makes us happy'?
My friend and I are one day going to put together a photography exhibit that expresses the message that, even the poor people can feel happiness. The goal of this project was to show that happiness exists in all circumstances, and more importantly, that wealth is not the source of ones happiness. But that is a discussion for another blog.
So, how to wrap this rambling session up... It seems that it's not so much important to choose the right career for oneself, but the importance lies in the way life is conducted. If one is able to 'live well' according to their own standards, then this will probably equate to that person's overall happiness with their life. So maybe my search isn't so much with what I want to do as a particular job, but rather who do I want to be as a person.
If you've made it through this random session of ramblings and understood it all, congratulations. I barely made it through myself...