free time = responsibility??

disclaimer: this entry is unedited and ... made up of various thoughts that may, or may not fit together.. it's your free time.. spend it wisely.

two things that i am beginning to understand:
our human life is finite.
every moment has worth.

there is a problems though.. how does one respond to these two truths? do we use every second we have to try to fill our heads with knowledge and experience, and try to squeeze every last drop of life we can come across before the curtains close? or, do we relax and do anything or nothing because we know that life is not endless? obviously there can be no real objective answer, but that everyone will see the meaning of life in their own way. my view falls dangerously on the former response. i say dangerously, only because - one can go crazy if they never truly rest and relax.
this isn't meant to be a depressing note, but more of a thoughtful one. it's a serious question: how do we go about living our lives? and i definitely don't expect any answer (i imagine that most people ask this question to themselves, in one form or another, daily).

i had no real intention on blogging tonight, but as i wondered around my little apartment with so many aspirations about what i could do with my free time, i felt completely overwhelmed with possibilities. this is a positive thing isn't it? there are so many without, while i'm here wondering about how to spend my time when i'm not working at my high paying job in a foreign country. it's just, the opportunities that i've been given- the social class i grew up in- makes me feel a kind of responsibility with how i spend my time. i don't know if i am alone in feeling this, or if this is a good thing or bad thing, but i think.. that it's a good thing.
a friend of mine once said "we (as fellow human beings) are responsible for the quality of life in this world", and.. i like this. the notion of responsibility, how we are obligated to improve life if it is at all possible. i am also beginning to think that the more possibilities that we have, the more responsibility we are given..
haha, listen to me - the idealist.
the blog started out with me wondering how to spend my free time wisely, and i'll bring it back to that now.
i guess everyone need to find out on their own how to spend their time in such a way that brings life to that individual - be it learning online, watching re-runs of seinfeld, or playing halo 2 on the old x-box. is there such a thing as wasted time? some would say yes, and others would say no, but i guess the final call lies on the shoulders of the individual. does this mean that one man's solitaire addiction is worth just as much as another's research in finding cures for cancer? i suppose to each individual - both endeavors are equal. but the global population, the latter might actually make an impact, and better someone else's life.
so maybe that's the bottom line; that responsibility resulting from ones opportunities is only a weight that is added subjectively to the shoulders of those who do not feel a big enough burden with their own lives? basically, if we want to change the world for the better, we should feel welcome to do so - but there is no real obligation for anyone to do so.. however, if everyone only looked out for themselves, rather than giving something back, i don't think we as a species would have made it this far.. (how far have we made it anyways?)
geez... i gotta stop writing these before i sleep..
does this post make sense? although i think blogs are more honest when they are written this way, i also feel like i should start writing smaller entries. free time is a precious thing.